


How to Get Food During the Camping Trip from Hell

by Chelonie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Camping Trip From Hell, Crack, Don't copy to another site, Gen, Horcrux Hunting, Why were they hungry?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:03:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21560857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chelonie/pseuds/Chelonie
Summary: Seriously. Why were they starving? Hermione remembered muggle money!
Relationships: Hermione Granger & Harry Potter & Ron Weasley
Comments: 30
Kudos: 148





	How to Get Food During the Camping Trip from Hell

1\. _Accio wedding cake_ on the way out of Bill and Fleur's wedding.

\- Pros: Cake is good!

\- Cons: Might end up with a faceful of cake.

2\. Can't create food by transfiguration, but you can increase it.

\- Pros: Can re-enact the loaves and fishes scene from the Bible.

\- Cons: Transfigured food taste like soggy cardboard.

3\. Have Hermione put on a baseball cap and wander into a muggle grocery store to go shopping.

\- Pros: Simple and easy.

\- Cons: May be dementors about. Can't send Harry, as he's dementor bait, or Ron, as he can't navigate the muggle world.

4\. _Confund_ someone who just left a takeaway place into handing it over.

\- Pros: Simple and easy.

\- Cons: Statute of Secrecy violation.

5\. Don't tell me Harry never learned to dumpster dive in his years of starvation and hiding from Dudley.

\- Pros: Free Food!

\- Cons: Have to find new dumpsters, because Death Munchers will have Little Whinging staked out.

6\. Muggle hotel. Room service.

\- Pros: Real beds! Hot food!

\- Cons: Will they even let them through the door in their tattered unwashed clothes?

7\. Apparate into a restaurant after hours. Steal much food and go.

\- Pros: Low chance of getting caught.

\- Cons: Harry and Ron have been to exactly zero muggle restaurants in his life, so this is all on Hermione.

8\. Just walk into the damn pub somewhere in the muggle world and order bangers and mash.

\- Pros: Nobody knows who they are.

\- Cons: Put a _Silencio_ on Ron, or he'll draw attention when he exclaims over that weird glowing box showing the people kicking a ball around the ground.

**Author's Note:**

> **How to Escape Privet Drive Before Harry Turns 17:**
> 
> 1\. Don't go to Privet Drive. Leave directly from Kings Cross to safehouse of choice  
> 2\. Instead of having 7 Harry Potters, have a few hardened aurors decoy as Harrys, while Harry is disguised as a muggle who is catching a taxi.  
> 3\. Dude. You have a super invisibility cloak. Just walk away.


End file.
